Fuel for the Fire
January 26, 2009, 3:44 am
Filed under: Blips, blogging, events, fun, happiness, history, hope, life, me, outdoors | Tags: ,

As I was driving down an old country road I hadn’t been down in ages I brought up some memories that have gone by the wayside. His name was Dan and I think of him from time to time. I remember the day he and his friend pulled up the driveway in an old beat up green Chevy truck and how I climbed in to meet his smiling face. I could spend the rest of my life climbing into that truck over and over. That look like a little boy is forever engraved in my memory because he looked so happy to just be loved. It was a warm early summer day and it was set before us wide and welcoming. We could do anything, go anywhere and we were doing it together without a watchful eye dictating right from wrong. My favorite part is when he settled his head on my shoulder and gazed up at me while he sang out the words to some forgotten country tune. It said everything about what he wanted from me and it was so much to give at my young age. Not long after that day he packed his bag and went off to basic training in what to me was a far away land. He wrote me a letter nearly everyday for weeks and I have since lost them to the hands of time. How I wish I could read about the days of my younger years and conjure up the past to reminisce.
While he was away my now X husband managed to cultivate a love from me and when Dan returned I was with child. He showed up to see me after months of separation to find that I had moved on unable to wait for him. How awful that must have been for him. But being young we let it go and our paths parted forever. I often wonder what could have been. It’s only natural to think about it now and again. Those letters and the days of fishing by the waters longing only to be together are but a warm memory to take along in this huge heart I have to fill. If our paths should ever cross I would be all ears to hear of the life he has lead without me but until that time I will go with the old but true saying that

It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

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