More Faith Talk…
January 23, 2009, 10:18 am
Filed under: hope, life, marriage, me

There is this older lady that lives behind me and once upon a time I was friendly with her and would chat across the flower beds. But then I learned who she really was. She was just a bible preaching nasty two faced bitch. I learned from another neighbor that she would go spouting off about my children and the way we live. I spent whole evenings examining my life to see what was so horrible about staying home with my children and providing them with the best childhood I could afford. She only saw the outside of our family. I feel the need to justify myself even now but I won’t. And that is because I know in my deepest of hearts that I am a good person, I have always been a good mother and when someone judges you from just the outside then they don’t have the right to assume your life is as frivolous and carefree on the inside. I did it too though. I judged her. I thought that her love of the church and her need to help out others made her a good person. I trusted her because she trusted in God. Because of that I thought she would be a better person, someone that could show me the way. Yet she turns around and stings me with her tongue, she pointed fingers and accused with no proof to spread on the table. She was the devil.

I understand not every devout worshiper will hold a bible in one hand and a knife in the other but it bothers me that someone can preach the way and then turn their back on someone who is struggling.  It has happened to me twice now and I question it. I add it to the list of cons. This higher power would not refuse a hand reaching out for help and guidance. If you want to preach about the Word then be willing to welcome in the sinner that just can’t grasp why it isn’t good enough to treat people like humans. To treat others for what they are and to guide those that fall into their path with their knowledge.

If you climb on your horse and claim to be pristine then act it. Don’t bend the rules to suit your lifestyle.  Don’t publish reports of small miracles and lessons learned in everyday life to just turn around and test the boundaries of another’s  marriage because it is doesn’t affect you. But it does. For one to take advantage of another who is down is wrong. To embrace them in their fragile state to only shape them into what you need to fulfill your own sickness is wrong.

I didn’t need to read a book that is ages old to understand that life is about being the absolute best you can be. I didn’t need to spend an entire weekend morning on my knees with countless strangers to learn how to be kind to others, to not turn a blind eye on those that really need you. I am no fool when it comes to life but in the end I have been made a fool again. But only for a moment, when I was weak.  Today I am strong again and I can see with perfect clarity that my personal faith has been tested again and I almost lost. I escaped being ravaged by a beast in disguise. One mistake I vow to never break again.


1 Comment so far
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>when someone judges you from just the outside then they don’t have the right to assume your life is as frivolous and carefree on the inside

Sadly, I have found that the folks who are most vocal about their own faith are the ones more likely to do just that. Us gay folk have been on the receiving end of their crap since God was in kindergarten.

Comment by DougT

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