Note to Self; you should really pray today :)
January 20, 2009, 1:58 am
Filed under: bloggers, books, dreams, happiness, help, hope, life, marriage, me

I haven’t blogged about my resistance to God for some time. Just a warning what’s coming. You might not like it, you might agree, you might not.

Sometimes I send out what I like to call a test prayer. I have always had trouble with the whole praying business. If I could write a letter to God I would probably do better with it because some times words have a way of just pouring out of me and making actual sense. But I can’t even remember to write my penpal three times a week  so you know where that’s going.

Anyhow, a couple weeks back I was traveling and I was bored. I didn’t have a whole lot I felt like thinking about and I was ruffling through my life like one would do in an old filing cabinet. Just looking around, wondering why children were filed under the early years and happily married seemed to end in the same time span both times and there were many files left blank that I chose to ignore and let collect dust. Then just like that I looked to the heavens and I almost said out loud, ” Fine. If you really have such an impact on me then show me.” I asked Him to deal out a parlor trick, because I just don’t get it. I try. I really do. But later that day, it was there in my rear view mirror. The flashing lights of doom. I was so preoccupied with a conflict in my schedule brought on by Mother Nature herself that I had forgotten to reduce from 50 mph to 35 mph. And I was busted. Believe me or don’t believe me it could have been very bad. I could have been in a lot of trouble. I still can’t quite figure out how I slipped away with a little ticket and the same life I had a mere ten minutes before.  Was that my sign I asked for? That I have someone watching out for me, but I have to experience some unpleasantness sometimes?

And then to open my email over the weekend and see that someone (an actual bonafide person I know) felt compelled to pray for me. I never feel compelled to pray for anyone, I kind of need a Post it note to remember and all. Just how many people out there remember to pray for me? Is it doing any good? Could life be all that much worse? It’s alot to think about, it makes my head hurt.

Have you ever seen The Five People You Meet in Heaven? I read the book and then a couple years after there was a movie. I never saw the movie but I finally caught it this weekend. It leaves you to think about who’s path you have crossed and caused some kind of impression. I met a lady once that told me all about how she took her mother to pick out the dress she was to be buried in. We politely conversed while sitting at the hair salon and I never saw her again. But it made me think. I never forgot her. Has she forgotten me?

Probably.

I find life confusing on such a gigantic scale that it would reach beyond the heavens themselves. But I feel positive if I keep making room for strangers in this empty cabinet of mine it will all make sense one day.

Strangers are just family you have yet to come to know.
Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven
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